Saturday, February 27, 2010


I dont even know who am i anymore. Im soo lost. every night im just reading your name over and over again. seeing flashbacks of your smile time and time. wishing to see you again and again.. im too scard to talk to you.. the one, two word replies from you is seriously not a good feedback.. make me think that im not only boring but u cant even be bothered replying me. you're always online, and i have not dobt wanting to double click on ur icon and have a chat with you. somthing random, somthing happy, sad just wanna talk to you. however, i dont have anything to talk about anymore. this bitter feeling is getting stronger and stronger. in this visual technology i seem to know you very well, but in reality my acknowledgement towards you is less than 1%. i only can think of you as a whole physically but emotionally, i have no clue. the boundaries you had caused me not be able to have another glimpse of you nor ask 'how are you' verbally. that time when i was in your car, you maybe happy to see me but i know deep inside you all you ur feeling is 'uncomfortable' 'awkward'and 'afraid'. if i didnt say a word that time, i will predict that we are just gonna sit there and let the awkwardness arrive. when we use to talk everynight to like 3,4 am in the morning, i never thought life wud past soo fast when your happy. i really enjoyed those time. seeing you on cam is just enuff to revive my shitty days i have. however, after know the truth, i start to feel gapped away. and i know that im getting very boring.. i dont know wat to talk about anymore. i use to have soo much to tell you.. the moment just really feels like ur right next to me 'hearing' every single word i tell you. it died out. im cudbe just thinking too much. i cud be just fantasing all this and making a big deal out of this whole thing, but what else can i do? every night for a week now ive been have deep deep emo moments. even if i was very happy tlking to other friends, ill just die out. wat the fck is going on with myself..I do not love you that much sure.. but you are just the reason why im feeling soo grey in my life.. or im just obsess in a way..

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