Tuesday, December 27, 2011

-what would you pick?-

”if there is a restore button on your body that allows ur body and memories all turn back to zero, would you press it? what will you when you do?"

im pretty happy with laugh I suppose. not much is really concerning me. I love my life. But if I were to pick a time to do so, it will be when I'm actually 'depressed' becoz of things that I should'nt be..

i realised the routine is: if i open my mouth and talk. i undergoing a sin for you.
when i close my mouth: i will want to start talking and wonder if the next thing i say could fix it.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

-lost :S-

i really dont know where u are all the time..

everything is soo last minute. atleast u will know where i am at a particular time coz i tell you.. but u can all of a sudden tell me ur going to sydney? wow... thats a bit too much of a short notice dont u rkn?

u went party last night, howcome u told me ur not going but end up going? im not angry coz u went is that im angry coz u didnt tell me know...

you might say i did the same for memory, but atleast i told u about it before and not surprise u. u might think its a surprise becoz i told u before the event. but atleast u had an idea i might go. (not saying i was right) instead, u tell me after the event..

i reckon your not very honest to me still.. im not angry, its just that i dont even know where u are even at this moment.

you tell me your grounded (AS ALWAYS) but u always cud find ways to go out.. HOW THE HECK DO U DO THAT?? wen we're off the phone it was already 1.30am. ur mum stayed home, therse no way u cud have snuck out and come back home in time. There must be somthing ur hiding from me still.. i just want to know... why cant you do that for me aswell and come out with me then? dont tell me its coz of your friends coz if its your parents, even if its ur friends u wont be able to go out that late. this just makes me really feel that u try so hard to go out with ur friends, but u cant even come out for dinner with me...

just be honest with me please... u worry me, thats why im bring this up, not that im angry...

Friday, December 23, 2011

-quiet day-

so leaving hong kong should be a really happy time for me because i could finally have some good times out of this boring place aka BrisVegas pfft == but obviously, if the other half staying over there is going to be fine and not worry me, then this would've been a better departure.

really dont know what to say when things i say, she doesnt believe.
     "I miss you" "I miss you too" "No you dont" "I do!" "No you dont"
 then what do you want me to say? i cant squeeze thru the phone and go give u a big hug right? when I say it, i mean it.. you just dont get the point up until now.

not mentioning names but i know he has been saying shit and encouraging you to leave me as I am "ruining" your life. first of all, how am i ruining your life? if you say trying my best to not piss you off and satisfy you is "ruining" then what do you want?? I dont complaint. I let you be even and fair with me. I have faith and trust in you.

But no, you dont seem to quite get enough of it.

Yet still talking about break ups, separating to what? it doesnt benefit neither of us. but OH WAIT.. it does benefit that person who encourage you to leave me, because you will be at your lowest point of your life and he'll plan to get you.

But fine, I wont confront, ill just let it out here once again so that I can face you properly again so you won't think that I dont love you enough yet AGAIN.

look, im trying my best here to fix these unnecessary problems we're having now. All I want from you is just to trust me and believe in me just like how I am towards you. You tell me your going to party tonight, I'm really not angry at all, but just worried that you might get too drunk and get harmed when your not concious. IF it was you, you would have already hung up on me again and just ignore me for the rest of the night..

I really hope to have a turning point in our relationship. Just making some adjustments for eg, believing in me more than just listening to your so called 'FRIENDS', try think about your boy friend for once yeh?

I'm dying to come back to see you. IF you dont believe it still, fine. your just cold blooded. but if you do, LOve you more.