three weeks ago, i was very nervous about everything. dealing with education, family, friends, love, etc, you name it prob a bit of it. thinking back at it now..
oh crap.. UNIVERSITY.. somthing big of my life.. the real deal of my journey to become someone independent. i doubt these will become true but it seems to be a long way for me to even find out about it. social work. to others, it may sound like a pussy job. it may also give others a feeling of a failure subject becoz its bearly heard amungst everyday conversations. what people would like to hear is obviously, lawyer, pharmacy, doctor, engineer, accountant or business. to me, people who think that can seriously go dig a whole and stick their head inside, ill then come to u and stick a sign next to ur ass saying: I have no knowledge about whats the real deal. i soo disagree with these people. who in the world gets the priviledge to say that course that arnt so commonly heard is failure. thats bs! and to those who look down on me, so what if I didnt get in psycology. social work is based on the same topics but its more community wise instead of individual targets. FK U ALL!
man.. mum would'nt be here for my first day of uni. why does she always have to go at the most importanat of my life time.. nor was dad here. they're both outa country working. yes i know.. they are doing it all for me and the sibs but i prefer having a full family then many many money. if i were to choose between family or money, no dobt it is family.. they wernt around wen i was young.. grannie looked after me, nor there were here wen im in kindergarder, year 1..or 2, high school.. and now uni.. i kinda feel selfish for making it sound like they have to stay here with me but what can i do srsly. im a human too you know. i have feelings.. try give me more attention.. come back more.. be with the family. and im scard i cudnt take care of lil jeremy.. fail brother..
oh well, friendships is a really important thing to me now. even tho i have uni and new friends are being made. i still need my old and original group that ive spend most my time with and commited to. the tensions have been building up lately because of this same old problem. in a way i dont no how to confront it and deal with it, in another, i dont no how to express myself even if i do. im missing the strategy to communicate with someone... and i mean if i cant communicate with my fellow bros, how cud i do so with the outside world.. speshally wen i mite be the one HELPING others (thats if i succeed in being a social worker/ psychologist). anyways, there are things i need to say to one particular bro of mine. blank mind. sorry for the things ive said. it may have offended but hope you get my idea.. i have nothing else to worry now but just.. wanting to have a group that i can share to.
fuck love i have venus thats all it matters. after the big rejection from last month, i stood up again.. and fought further. i wont give up. not for others but for myself. who cares if i have to wait. who cares if theres nothign to wait for. i have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 1 after that incident, we started tlking again.. in a better way. not the way i was expected but enuff to make me happy again for atleast. i wont let go. as my msn name says: 抓不到的蝴蝶就会飞走；泼了出去的水就不能收回来；错过了的爱情就没有下一次. stuff that u miss out even by a second, you'll never have another chance. my friend and his lover is currently likes each other but for some reason hes not going for her.. yet. on the phone i just like WTF MAN! lbhablhablha dont waste time and do wat u have given!! all that shit. however im still very happy hes finally got someone he loves ^^. yeh.. for some reason im those ppl that gets very exited when the stuff happens to ur friend. i smile for them. i really do.
3 weeks later. im here blogging again like a retard. im really relaxed. most of the stuff has been overcomed but assignments are building up.. but WHO CARES :) dont pressure myself too much.. same with you folks!.. i love you my friends! :)
and thanks for spending soo mcuh fked up time and read my mind.
song of the day: D=OUT - 春風シャララ
and i listen to this song alot last year ~
-staying up even tho i have uni tmr
-watching the same drama again after 3 hrs