Monday, April 26, 2010


fairwell my angel, fairwell my heart,
redeem myself, as pain arrives.
alone again, preserved danger,
atleast not betrayal, nor avoidance..

im still like this ~ i want to search for new things, make me fly, make me someone who im not familiar with. i want to betray myself for just one day and have a taste of being another person. 

somtimes when you think you know everything, its when you realised your knowledge is less as nill. im not saying i know a lot, but i agree. as i unwraps the present, clueless becomes acknowledged but seems like its not enough. not enough for my full understanding. this place is full of misteries. 

after watching the book of eli today, im beginning to think more about religion. does god really exist? this person.. thing we pray to and talk about. is he really here protecting us? is it a sin that we can not know about the truth? some say, if you believe it exists then it is. but i shall critic it.. if we do reckon he exist, where is he? in our head? in the church? what if i do believe the existing of god, but not taking to a fact that its a thing that can have a set of structure/ place to be along to. confusion is usually what i come across with.

back to myself, im having dejavus all the time. does that reflect any kinds of supernaturalism? am i mentally challenged, but it happens to many other people? maybe the things we are thinking now arnt really the right things to do. or maybe the matters we consider being right are simply wrong. power is the word im looking for. the theory is: if you have power you are god.

i want power. atleast the power to let me tell what others are thinking, actually just what shes thinking. i want to know more. there are many grey spots here that i simply can't get a touch upon it. im desprete? no.. im craving for an evolution. crying should be the sign of showing happiness. having fun should be a scene of suffer. pain should NOT be wat i want to feel when I think about you.  


Song of the Day: ayumi hamasaki - depend on you

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