-backfire-

i had really made a big fool of myself. i see this world more clearer. it seems dark and dull.. (CAUSEITSFUCKING12INTHEMORNINGUFUCK) no... everything is soo crucial. anger. revenges, jealousy, obsession, grave is the final destination. things that have been around me for almost a quater of my life has slowly revealed its true identity. it discusses me. I would like to get rid of this thing from my life as soon as possible. this leech, shall leave this world and make a better use of itself.

it actually concerns me when this comes to a matter of disturbance and irratation. how about dig a hole and bury urself in it? things that hasnt revealed to me directly has already indirectly left a big scar right on my forehead. stop trying to or being so naive and make a change to ur life. many things that has changed, you should change too. 討厭的傢伙。我要你死無葬身之地！heh... this feels good.. i will so make my life better without this egotistical character out of my story.

i tried controling this feeling for months now. it sure doesnt stop here. it has to be set free. this is just rediculous. memories does not equal to future. and ur future however does get reflected from ur past. for someone(s), make up ur fcking mind. i could not stand this one more single day + 1 anymore. this feeling can distinguish right now.

土.土.土 these graves are the meant for you people. make urself feel comfortable.

-i lost-

well jesus took 3 days to revive..

i took 3 days to give up everything..

chances are less then 0

no one will spare me mersy

all i have left is the illusions while i rest,

if im lucky enuff, ill see them, if not, NILL.

i fink the candle had just finish burning,

visibility is no longer available in my sight.

i do not see a clear view of my future anymore.

does anyone really know the feeling of this?

patients.. is what they all say,

but nightmares are striking continuously.

is everything i done worthless?

what did i get out from all this..

just a few words saying 'you understand me'

or 'bffl' ... am i not trying hard enuff?

will it all end up back like last year, 

all i do is sit and wait.. and wait..

i never had believed in mircles..

not until i met you. well thats what i thought,

im just fooling myself the whole time.

thinking ahead of myself, making stupid decsions.

ask if i regret, i wudnt be able to answer it..

let me be..

this reunited feeling im getting from you,

will soon be official and i know it will get worse.

far more deep then the one before.

will i be able to counter it like the past?

or will i sink to the bottom of the ocean,

hoping the moment will once again arrive.

tbh, there isnt much happy endings in life.

not that i know of anyway,

it has always ended up like this.

i recieved: hatred, betrayal, untrustworthy and tears.

maybe a emotional-free smile.

i lost.. again..

song of the day: Gazette - Before I DECAY